We Asked 26 People to Share Their Thoughts About Valentine's Day: What We Learned May Surprise You!

When compared to other major U.S. holidays, Valentine’s Day is unique. This is because it celebrates love—or more specifically, the act of being in love. And love is something than can fluctuate, at least during different parts of our lives. In other words, unlike nearly all other major holidays, Valentine’s Day comes with a pre-qualifier that you have no (or very little) control over: You must be in love in order to celebrate it. And whether or not you meet this qualification very often has a big impact on how you view it.

For example: Have you recently fallen head over heels in love with someone, and this will be your first Valentine’s Day together? You’re likely thrilled, and in a constant state of bliss. Or, are you on the mend after a long, painful breakup? If so, Valentine’s Day might just be a cruel representation of the love you no longer share.

Because of this interesting dichotomy, we wanted to find out what a few of our peers thought about Valentine’s Day, and to gain a little more insight and perspective. As a result, we asked a diverse sample group—from singles in their 20s to middle-aged married couples—to share their feelings with us. Unsurprisingly, women’s expectations on Valentine’s Day are often quite high and fairly specific. However, what is surprising is how concerned several of the single men were about being alone on Valentine’s Day this year.

With this in mind, read on for some of the responses. And when you’re finished, be sure to leave a comment and start a discussion!

Married Men: Why is Valentines Important? How do you prepare?

34 years old

“My life is pretty busy right now, so a holiday gives me the opportunity to focus on my wife and our relationship. I know I should be doing it more often :), but this holiday just gives me a sense of urgency. It’s nice to take a day and spend it with the most important person in my life; getting to know her and creating memories.

I asked my wife of what she would like, in order to get some hints. I know that having a good idea of what she would like will ensure a great day. Plan a few little surprises that would spoil her. Take a whole day off work, find a babysitter, and just spend the day together. I also make sure that we take the time to have a good conversation.”

26 years old

“For me, Valentine’s Day is a reminder of how wonderful, loving, and caring my wife is. I try to show her this same amount of care and love everyday, but Valentine’s Day for me is a reminder of that first time I fell in love with my wife. It brings me back to the reasons why I love her. It's the day where no matter what happened during the journey, you always go back to the foundation of where and why I loved my wife. Let's just say that it rekindles my love for her, and without it, I would not succeed. I try to make sure and see what she enjoys and to plan accordingly. I know my wife loves snowboarding, flowers, and romantic walks—just about anything I put effort into. It doesn't necessarily have to be expensive, it just has to be from the heart.”

Men in serious relationships: Why is Valentines Important? How do you prepare?

32 years old

“I'm discovering that loving your partner on a regular basis, instead of just saving it for one day a year, is much more effective.”

26 years old

“At least one day a year, you need to let your girlfriend eat 30 Reese’s peanut butter cups to show her how much you love her. Just kidding. I think it’s important because it’s a day to reflect on, and celebrate why you love each other.”

Single Men: What goes through your mind on Valentine’s Day?

Young man

22 years old

“My thoughts... Hmm… Honestly I just want a girl who I can totally shock on Valentine’s Day. I want to be a “Mr. Romantic,” as cheesy as that sounds. I want a strong relationship, and I want to go out of my way for my girlfriend. I want her to feel like Valentine’s Day is a holiday created specifically for her. I want to make her feel like she is a queen, and I want someone that appreciates my efforts. That's what goes through my head.”

25 years old

“I’m 25, and saving myself for marriage. I think that I am ready for that, emotionally and mentally, but not financially at the moment. What goes through my head is that I really do want to be with someone that I can share all of my heart with. Someone that I can show a ton of love to, who I can start a family with. I really want that intimate friendship with someone. Especially on days like Valentine’s when everyone is with the person they love.”

32 years old

“I would say it all depends on your mindset, and where you in your life. Currently, it doesn't bother me whatsoever to be single on Valentine’s Day. I don't want to rush into anything just to have a date. As a bonus though, I get to save some money and not have to plan anything extravagant.”

29 years old

“I'm not super worried about it, because there are a lot of fish in the sea. Until someone really impresses me, I'm keeping my options open. Really, it's just another day on the calendar. After all, if a guy likes a girl, he shouldn't wait till Valentine’s Day to show her anyways.”

20 years old

“Sucks I don't have a Valentine.”

20 years old

“Find a girl to take out on a date.”

22 years old

“Wing it and see what happens. Maybe something will come up last minute, and if not, I'll just go out and kick it.”

Married Women: Describe your perfect Valentine’s Day

24 years old

“Ah, my perfect Valentine’s Day would be pretty dreamy. I love surprises; all kinds! I normally don’t like expensive things, and I absolutely hate going to fancy expensive restaurants! For me, it’s mostly about the thought and time put into it to make it special, sweet, romantic, and not generic. I would love breakfast in bed, or a note with flowers of some kind; something unexpected. I also love getting surprise gifts, like flowers or a surprise lunch visit at work! Make my coworkers jealous. ;) I also really like a nice card full of writing from the heart! This year, we’re doing something we both love—being together all day! We both took the day off from work, and we’re going snowboarding all day at Stevens pass, then having dinner in Leavenworth, and if I find a suitable hotel, we’re staying the night. The perfect evening would involve some wine or champagne, candles, music, massage oil and a lot of cuddling (haha)! P.S. I hate jewelry, and he knows that NOW (finally)!”

34 years old

“I like to be surprised by breakfast in bed from Denny's and a single red rose.”

25 years old

“My perfect Valentine’s Day would consist of, first of all, a babysitter for my daughter. I would want to wake up to a funny card on my bed stand, have breakfast made for the two of us, enjoy coffee and conversation (because we can never do that anymore with school, work, and a kid). Then, I think my ideal Valentine’s would be going to a nice dinner, and maybe bed and breakfast overnight. Just a relaxing evening.”

27 years old

“A perfect date would start off in the late morning with a stop at the coffee shop. Getting coffee-to-go would then be followed by a trip the farmers market for some lunchtime snacking; a rummage through local thrift stores in hopes of finding our next DIY restoration project; and finally an early dinner from a restaurant recommendation that I'd likely discovered on a favorite blog (I always prefer finding restaurants this way as opposed to something like Yelp).”

24 years old

“To me, a perfect Valentine’s Day consists of a romantic candlelight dinner, a glass of wine, and sweet music in the background; at home or out, as long as I'm spending the evening with my love. Dressing up is a must.”

Women In a serious relationship: Describe your perfect Valentine’s Day

20 years old

“My perfect Valentine's Day would be a well thought-out adventure discovering a new little town or bay, and enjoying the scenery and the atmosphere of it all. Then, finishing the night with a wonderful dinner—wine with our meal, and champagne and chocolates for dessert. And maybe a proposal just to mix things up! :-)”

28 years old

“It's hard to describe my perfect Valentine's Day since I really don't think of that day as anything much. When you have a good man and he treats you good, everyday is Valentine's Day. I don't have anything particular in mind, but getting to spend that day with my love, cuddling on the couch, talking, or maybe having some dessert would be fun to me. And then seal it with a kiss, etc..!”

26 years old

“I don’t look forward to it. It’s always a big disappointment. I’m sorry, but even if you did put 3% effort into bringing me some flowers that you thought were pretty....while it might have been sweet the first time, after a few years you should at least know my favorite flowers and step it up a notch. You might say it’s the thought that counts, but not in this case; you should do what your girlfriend would like, and not just  the fastest or easiest thing.”

22 years old

“The perfect Valentine’s Day would have to be something he thought of or created for the both of us. A surprise dinner or a planned date, whether it’s going out to eat or dessert in downtown. For me, it’s about him putting the time and effort into thinking about what really makes me happy, and about going that extra mile. Even a simple act of giving me flowers and a card shows me that he thought of me and put in extra time to express his feelings. That makes it special and memorable. Also, a good heart-to-heart conversation is great, because I feel connected and reassured that we are on the same page in life. One last ideal date for Valentine’s (which I'm looking forward to), is baking and cooking together. Picking our favorite recipes that we will cook individually, and then swapping them! It puts a spin on traditional cooking sessions in my opinion.”

Single Women: What goes through your mind on Valentine’s Day?

Young woman

30 years old

“I don’t think about Valentine’s when I’m single. I don’t care about it and it doesn’t make me sad, but it’s a fun excuse to have some sweets and talk about guys.”

22 years old 

“Valentine’s Day isn’t depressing for me. What thoughts go through my head? Well, I think a little more about David Garrett on Valentine’s Day, and that’s pretty much it.”

55 years old

“This day is very special to me, because my children always show me more attention and shower me with flowers and gifts. It makes me feel loved and fulfilled. You always secretly wait for a little extra attention on any holiday from the ones you love, and the ones that love you.”

33 years old

“To be made to feel very special, as if you really mean something to someone! Even just once a year for a couple hours, he must go all out! Like someone once did... I got flowers delivered, balloons, and a note. I was the only one who got anything that day! Actually, ever! He made me feel like I was worth that expensive delivery!”

26 years old

“As a single girl, Valentine’s Day is a day that, after years of being single, it's a harsh reminder that I don't have romance in my life right now. Any other day, being single is actually pretty nice. My busy lifestyle allows me to sigh in relief before I fall asleep, knowing I don't have anybody that’s expecting me to make time for them on a regular basis. But on this particular day, I feel a bit left out of the world of romance and relationships. My mind tells me it's better to be single on this day than to be getting roses from a guy I don't love. But in my heart, there is that fleeting moment where I see a couple having dinner and I start to wish I WAS in love and, against my will, I feel left out. I can't help it.”

25 years old

“Since I don’t really care about that holiday as a single person, I kind of don’t know what thoughts I have, other than that I think it’s for people who are in love, and it’s a great way to go the extra mile to show them they love their partner.”

What’s Your Opinion on Valentine’s Day? Do You Agree or Disagree?

We hope you enjoyed this fun article, and that you were able to learn a tip or two about what you can do to make Valentine’s Day special for your loved one. Be sure to tell us what you think below, and then forward it to your friends and family.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

  • February 11, 2014

The HighYa Team

The HighYa team is passionate about helping you avoid scams and make better purchasing decisions about everything the internet has to offer.


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